Caro, Mexico

There was a time during the pandemic when I couldn’t see my dad nor my grandparents because of the whole situation. So, I didn’t see them for 6 months and it was really hard because I’m really close to both my dad and my grandpa. I grew up with them, so I’m used to being around them. I miss them a lot. I didn’t see any of my friends either until recently.

Actually, I graduated and started working during the pandemic. That was pretty hard, because I work with a lot of musicians and now it is really difficult to do it. I studied graphic design and animation, although it has never been an option for me to work as any of those things. I’ve been into photography ever since I was a little kid, but I was always so scared to make a living of it because it is not something everyone can do and make money from.

I intend to quit my job when things calm down. It’s not fulfilling for me. I’ve been working with this company for quite some time now. I started as an intern for two years, and it was only natural for them to give me the position. It’s a really nice place to work, really. My boss and my co-workers are amazing, and we do have some interesting projects, but I just realized it is not for me. But they are really supportive of me going to a different place. So, I need to overcome my fear and do what I want to do.

I’m a very touchy person. Even my dog gets tired of me. I need the hugs and the contact. I miss the touch.  That has been one of the hardest things about this. Also, meeting people. I do enjoy my time alone but sometimes I remember how it felt to go to a concert or go for lunch with my friends and I miss it. I love to talk to people. But I’m glad. I feel like I’m blessed somehow because I don’t have any other problems such as economic or health problems. Sometimes I think I don’t even have the right to feel bad. That’s what I tell myself whenever I feel stressed or sad. I’m a very emotional person and I cry a lot, so I have to try and stay calm.

Before the pandemic I used to be out almost all day, and now that I’m staying home, I’ve learned to be with my family. I get to talk more with my brother and to enjoy my house. I feel like sometimes we forget to enjoy the little details of a house because we are constantly going from one place to another. Always living so fast. Now I get to do all the things that I stopped doing like baking, painting or playing piano.

I used to think I was doing alright and that I was happy, but I’ve realized throughout this time that I had a lot of work to do within myself. I had to learn to love myself more, to understand me and to give myself the right to feel better. I had some depressive stages. Sometimes I used to wake up and feel stuck, but I learned that I needed to change my mindset. So, right now I’ve been just trying to pick myself up.